Keyboard Jockey

I haven’t updated this blog since my first post. The sobriety shit didn’t work out by the way. I enjoy getting fucked up too much.

The reason I haven’t updated this blog is because I have nothing cool to write about. I wish I could tell y’all I have a team of hoes like I coach women softball. I wish I could say bitches be going beast mode on my wiener like Kobayashi at a hot dog eating contest. It’d be cool to tell y’all my dough is rising like I’m baking bread.

But I can’t. So fuck it!

My life currently consist of being broke as fuck, masturbation marathons, working at a crappy job, and living with my mom even though I am a couple years away from turning 30. The crazy life of a keyboard jockey!!

I’ll write about my progression instead. I’ll write about going to the gym nearly daily, starting to take supplements, looking for a second job or a decent roommate I could split the cost of an apartment with, weaning off on masturbating, and hitting on girls. I will document my trial and errors and what I am doing to improve my life. But only until I could write about cool shit like being rich and having more hoes than swiss cheese.

Brutal Ass Dry Spell

I been on a ridiculously long dry spell. I think I’m starting to go crazy.

Today I saw a former fuck buddy of mine. She was drinking at my job with some lame ass dude. That bitch! He’s probably going to go fuck the shit out of her tonight. Maybe even anal.

I have to admit I was a little jealous, but not because he was going to go home and bang my old bitch. I was jealous because if that lame ass dude is getting laid there is no reason for me to be on this brutal ass dry spell.

It’s not that I suck with females. I actually gotten pussy basically thrown at me a couple times. I just have no where to take them. I stay with family at the moment and won’t take them there and I haven’t been able to pull off park sex yet. I’m sick of it.

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

So I decided I’m giving up drugs. The weed, the pills, maybe even cut back on drinking. With all the extra money I save I will rent an apartment.

I will use this dry spell as motivation. or else this blog would be about my life as a basement dweller and that won’t be as cool.